Becoming a mum is a life-changing experience that brings immeasurable joy, but it also comes with its challenges. From sleepless nights to constant demands, motherhood can often feel overwhelming. But one of the hardest things many of us struggle with, especially as new mums, is asking for help.

Whether it’s from your partner, family, friends, or even when someone casually asks, "Are you okay?" many of us are conditioned to hide the struggles and simply keep going. Society often paints the picture of the "perfect mum" who can balance it all — a career, a happy family, a clean home, and everything in between. But the truth is, most of us are just trying to keep our heads above water.

In fact, a study by the @peanut motherhood app in the UK reveals just how prevalent these feelings of invisibility and unappreciation are. According to their research, a staggering 72% of mothers feel invisible and 93% feel unappreciated after becoming parents. These numbers speak volumes about the mental and emotional burden mums carry silently.

Why is it so hard to ask for help?

For many mums, the pressure to “do it all” often leads to isolation. We’re expected to juggle endless responsibilities without showing weakness, vulnerability, or admitting that we can’t handle everything on our own. Whether it’s from societal expectations, the fear of being judged, or the desire to be the “perfect” parent, many of us avoid asking for help.

But here’s the thing: Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness — it’s an act of strength.

In fact, it’s a step towards building a village of support. No one can do everything alone, and the idea that we should be able to handle everything ourselves is not only unrealistic but also harmful. Whether it’s asking your partner to take on more household chores, reaching out to a friend for a listening ear, or confiding in family about how you're feeling, asking for help is the first step in taking care of yourself.

It’s also crucial to recognise that when we ask for help, we’re showing our children what it means to be open, vulnerable, and proactive in caring for our mental health. It’s okay to admit that we need support, and it’s okay to ask for it. After all, we all deserve a community that lifts us up, not a world that expects us to carry the load on our own.

Changing the Narrative:

The shift in mindset needs to come from both us as mothers and society as a whole. It’s time to break the cycle of feeling invisible and unappreciated. We need to normalise the conversation around the struggles of motherhood, support one another, and actively listen when someone asks, “Are you okay?” without judgement.

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer for motherhood. Every mum has her own journey, her own battles, and her own triumphs. But no matter where you are on your path, remember that you don’t have to walk it alone.

So, the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed or under-appreciated, remember: You are not alone, and asking for help is not a weakness — it’s a powerful step towards creating the support you need to thrive.

Let’s stop pretending everything is perfect. Let’s embrace vulnerability, ask for help, and start building the village we all deserve.