Read time: 4–5 minutes

TL;DR:
Children are starting to question their self-worth. It shows up in small playground moments, classroom comparisons, and unkind words like “You’re not invited to my party, next year’s too.” While we can’t shield them from everything, we can help them feel enough by listening, praising effort and kindness, letting them make mistakes safely, and reminding them that love isn’t earned, it’s given.

The Quiet Crisis

We’re going through a pandemic. Not one that fills hospitals or headlines, but one that’s quietly happening in schools and playgrounds. A pandemic of children questioning their self-worth.

As mothers of Year One children, we see it already - the small wobbles in confidence, the tears over friendships...

And then there are the moments that cut us, even when they’re said by children who don’t yet understand the weight of their words: “You’re not invited to my party – next year’s too.” Ouch!

We’re not psychologists. We’re just mums watching something we didn’t expect to start this young.

What We’re Seeing

At just five or six years old, children are already comparing. Who reads the longest book. Who’s picked first. Who gets the sticker. Who’s invited...

Somewhere in all the encouragement, competition and structure, many of them start to believe that being liked or doing well is the same as being worthy.

We see bright, curious children shrink a little when they’re not chosen. We see kindness questioned. We see confidence fade over the smallest things.

Why It Matters

When children start to doubt their worth this early, it shapes how they see themselves long before exams or social media ever come into play.

It changes how they learn, how they try, how they treat others.
They stop putting their hand up.
They stop trying something new.
They stop believing that they are enough just as they are.

What We Can Do

We can’t protect them from every unkind word, but we can give them roots that run deep.

Here’s what we’re trying:

1. Talk about feelings before fixing them.
   When they come home upset, we don’t rush to solve it. We listen. We let them name how they feel.

2. Celebrate effort, not just outcome.
   “You worked really hard on that” helps build resilience and pride.

3. Praise kindness and curiosity.
   Who they are matters more than what they achieve.

4. Let them make mistakes safely.
   Mistakes teach courage.

5. Remind them daily that love isn’t earned.
   It’s theirs, no matter what.

We can’t change the playground, but we can change the messages our children hear at home. We can build a world inside our homes where kindness, effort and self-belief matter more than stickers, scores or parties. Because our children’s self-worth shouldn’t depend on being chosen, picked or invited. It should come from knowing they are already enough.